My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
