I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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