so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
