I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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