I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
whose parrot is this?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
