I hate all girls vehemently.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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