If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
