wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
