that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
