is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
COCAINE IS GR8
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
