why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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