also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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