I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
