Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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