nut hugger
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
