Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
