Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
