I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
