Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
