so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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