If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
