I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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