found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
