Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
