Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
