You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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