my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
