So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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