We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
