Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize