I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
