You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
