Im at strip club and am horny
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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