3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
