I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
