I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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