Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
