Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
