So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
