I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
