I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
