I'll bet she douches with gravy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
