I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
