The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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