Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
