suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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