i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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