your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
