Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
