Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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