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Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
