I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
