Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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