im drinking this country out of the recession.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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