just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
