My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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