I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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