I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
