I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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