Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
