i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
