haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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