im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize