your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
