garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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