Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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