i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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