We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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