Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
